


Farewell Tahiti

by epeeblade



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M, spoilers Agents of SHIELD finale, spoilers don't matter I fixed everything anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 21:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17589035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epeeblade/pseuds/epeeblade
Summary: “Phil.” May stepped forward and took his shoulders. “You’re my closest friend. I’m honored you chose me to spend your last days with. But I’m not the person you should be with right now."Wherein Epee writes the finale SHIELD should have had.





	Farewell Tahiti

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Lapillus for your always thorough beta. I appreciate it.
> 
> Slowly getting back into writing fic. Hope to get to the Library Fic next!

The thing about dying for the second time, the thing that no one tells you, is how much it’s different when you can see it coming. The first time, Phil Coulson hadn’t expected the attack from behind. So he didn’t feel much pain, not even when Nick was kneeling over him. Shock, it must have been.

But now, as he followed Melinda May along the sands of Tahiti, he was conscious of not only the seconds ticking away from him, but the pain that throbbed in every centimeter of his being. Loki’s wound was being reopened from the inside, so it was like he was still dying, caught in an instant that never ever ended.

“I thought we were going parasailing,” he said when May led them to the doors of a guest house, half hidden along a dirt road and behind some greenery. He’d googled these locations, back when he first woke and imagined he’d spent months recovering on the shores of Tahiti.

It was only fitting that he actually die here.

“We can do that tomorrow,” she said, turning around to face him. “But there’s someone you need to see first.”

“Melinda.” Phil knew. She didn’t have to say anything more. His heart pounded with hope and fear.

“Phil.” She stepped forward and took his shoulders. “You’re my closest friend. I’m honored you chose me to spend your last days with. But I’m not the person you should be with right now. Why don’t you head on in? I’ve got an appointment with the bartender.”

She left her things in the entryway, flipped on her sunglasses, and headed down the dirt path. Phil assumed the rest of the amenities for the guest house could be found that way. Half of him wanted to follow her. Because, as his heart sank into his belly, Phil knew exactly who waited for him on the other side of the door. The one person he’d loved and lost.

Phil took hold of the doorknob, and of course, it was unlocked. He pushed the door open, stepped inside and immediately got hit with a familiar scent, one he hadn’t had the chance to be close to in so long.

“Clint.” 

Clint stood there, hands in the pockets of his jeans - only Clint would wear jeans in Tahiti - looking good enough to eat in his tight-fitting purple t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Phil itched to walk across the room and touch him, to familiarize himself with the feel of his skin, find every scar and callus and kiss each one.

At one point he’d known every inch of Clint. They’d explored each other’s bodies and stole happiness whenever they could.

A sudden throbbing pain in his chest had Phil reassessing that impulse, as he clutched his chest and gasped for air.

Clint was by his side in a moment. “Breathe, Phil, breathe. I got you.”

If only. “You retired,” Phil accused, the only words he could get out while his lungs recovered. The betrayal of it still soured his tongue. How could Clint have left him?

“I told you not to call me for Avengers business. SHIELD. Or whatever you’re calling yourself now.” Clint guided Phil to the couch, his hand a steady warm presence in the small of Phil’s back.

“Still SHIELD.” Phil sank into the cushions gratefully. He could feel the sweat beading at his temples. “Sort of.”

Clint pulled a cold bottle of water out of somewhere and handed it to Phil. Phil set it over his forehead and sighed.

“I never said not to call me if something happened to you. We didn’t break up, Phil.” Clint sat next to him, his hand heavy on Phil’s knee.

“You said your family needed you.”

Even as he said the words, Phil could hear how petulant he sounded. Damn it, he didn’t begrudge Laura and those kids any of Clint’s time. After her husband - Clint’s brother - had been killed in the line of duty, Clint had given up everything to support her during her pregnancy and be as much as a father as he could to his niece and nephews. 

By giving up everything Clint meant the Avengers, who still didn’t know Phil was alive. (And well, they wouldn’t be wrong in a few more short days…)

“That didn’t mean I didn’t want you in my life,” Clint protested.

Phil finally opened water and took a sip. “It was kind of hard to have a long distance relationship when you’re in Iowa and I’m 75 years in the future.”

“Phil.”

“I only wish I was joking.”

Silence after that. Then, in a soft voice. “I asked you to retire with me, remember? You didn’t want to leave your team.”

No, not then. Inhumans had just been discovered, and Skye had been shaken by the loss of her birth parents. No. Daisy. Phil never would get that right. Honestly part of him was still hurt by her taking on the name they’d given her, when she’d chosen a perfectly fine name for herself.

“And your retirement didn’t last long,” Phil grumbled. “You ended up in a gulag.”

Clint shrugged. “When Captain America calls, I answer. It’s what you would have done.”

Phil, if he had been there, would have come up with a solution that didn’t end up with the Avengers fighting each other. And Stark’s actions had only made the mess with the inhumans worse.

“I get that things were rough,” Clint said, “But to not even tell me you were dying?”

Phil swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Oh, Clint, you must be so angry with me.” And Clint was entitled to his anger, to every single second of burning rage he must be feeling. They’d left things...awkward between them, never a moment to be just Phil and Clint, lovers. 

“I am. I’m so mad I could slug you, but not before I save your life first.”

Phil felt the corners of his lips lift at that. “Oh? How are you going to do that?” If his own team couldn’t figure out, then no one could. The Kree DNA had been burned away. Phil had nothing left to give.

“Tony’s got a guy for that.”

“Oh, so it’s Tony now? When did you get on a first name basis with Stark?”

Clint shrugged. “A lot of things are different now. You should ask Thor about what happened to Asgard. On second thought, no, don’t mention that to Thor. He’d still sensitive about his home blowing up.”

Phil opened his mouth and then shut it. He’d been out of the loop for longer than he’d liked. Well, to be fair, he’d been in the future, and if Asgard had been destroyed, that explained why no one had been around to help when the Earth had cracked. At least he’d been able to fix that part of the timeline.

“Let me just make a call.” Clint got to his feet and pulled a Stark phone out of his back pocket. The phone was new - transparent and sleek, and as absolutely ridiculous as Tony Stark could design a phone to be. 

Clint always walked around when he talked on the phone. It was like he couldn’t be still, not when he’d been forced to be still for hours on comms. This conversation was on his own terms.

“Hey, what’s up, doc?” *Pause* “Yeah, I figure you get that a lot.* *another pause* “Do you have a few minutes? I have a case for you. That one Tony sent you the file for.”

“What file?” Phil would have gotten to his feet, but he didn’t want to sway and make it obvious how much of his strength he’d lost.

“Yeah, just home in on my location. The spell’s still on the phone.” Clint ended the call and turned to Phil. “The file Melinda sent me when it became clear that you were an idiot.”

Before Phil could respond to that, something started to glow in the center of the room. The glowing light got bigger and bigger, until it coalesced into a portal. Phil could almost see into the other side. A man stepped through it, right into the room, and the portal snapped closed.

“Phil Coulson, meet Dr. Stephen Strange.”

Phil was caught off-guard. There was a time when he knew any potential Avengers recruit, and this person apparently was already bosom buddies with Tony Stark. 

Phil would kill to know how that happened.

He got to his feet. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Strange didn’t answer. His eyes narrowed and he looked Phil up and down. He tsked. “I can see the stink of the Rider all over you.”

Well. That answered that question.

“I assure you, I had no other choice at the time.”

“That’s what they all say.” Strange held out one hand and then cupped it with his other, his fingers twisted into some odd formation.

It reminded Phil of those episode of the Magicians that Daisy had made him watch when they actually had time to binge watch things. He wondered if she would still watch the show now, or if it would be too painful to continue without him. His heart settled in his stomach.

“Look,” Clint interrupted, “It doesn’t matter why. Can you fix him?”

Strange leveled a look at Clint. “Of course I can.”

“With all due respect,” Phil interrupted, “if my best people couldn’t, I doubt you can.”

Strange rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, these were scientists? Men of rational thought?”

“Women, too, but yes.” Phil’s heart started to pound against his chest, that off-tempo rhythm that kept him up at night. He covered it with his hand to try to stop it.

“Never use science to solve a problem caused by magic.”

“Now that’s a slogan I need on a t-shirt,” Phil muttered.

Strange continued to make those strange hand movements. Sparks of light appeared in shapes of circles and triangles around him, and then slowly around Phil. “We’re going to need someone to anchor you in this life.”

“I volunteer,” Clint stepped forward. 

Before Phil could protest, Strange grabbed Clint’s hand and placed it over Phil’s, still covering his heart. Clint smiled and nodded at Phil, who could only watch, as they were both surrounded by waves of light and if Phil squinted, magical runes and symbols. He tried to memorize the ones he could make out. Maybe, if he actually lived through this, they might come in handy someday.

For a moment, Phil left his body.

He was above himself, above Clint, above the stranger in a red cape. Phil had merged with the world, had become atoms and stardust. And then Clint called him back.

He could feel Clint’s love, a living, viscous thing full of hope and desire, all swirling about them. Phil reached, touched Clint’s soul with his own, and then came slamming back down into his own body.

The lights disappeared and both men stepped back from each other.

“Did we just get magic married?” Clint asked with a grin

Strange looked like he was about to have an aneurism. “I performed a complex spell that bonded your souls in order to replace the claim the Rider made on him.”

“Totally married then.”

Phil could almost hear Strange’s eyes roll. 

“Remember, it only works once. Try not to make any more deals with demons.” Strange gave Phil a pointed stare.

He held both hands up. “I am not planning on making a habit of it.”

Strange nodded. He turned to Clint. “Be sure to tell Mr. Stark that my performance was adequate.”

Clint’s lips curved, and Phil had a feeling there was an inside joke he was missing. “Will do.”

With another elaborate flourish of his hands, Strange created another portal and stepped through. Phil was sure he was giving Phil the stink eye until he disappeared when the portal vanished. 

“What’s going on with him and Stark?” Phil couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Oh, Tony has him on retainer. He’s his magic guy on call. It’s kind of a long story that I really don’t want to get into right now.” Clint’s eyes looked serious as he leveled his gaze on Phil. “Phil, he did it. You’re going to be fine.”

For a moment Phil let himself feel. He breathed in fresh air without the rattling of his lungs. His legs weren’t cramping from the effort to keep him up, and in fact, he felt like he could run a marathon. 

He was going to live.

Without the crushing weight of his imminent death, Phil wasn’t quite sure what he felt. There was the pressure of possibility, of course. What was he going to do now? 

Clint had promised to deck him, so Phil threw his shoulders back and met Clint’s gaze. “I am. Go ahead. Do what you’re going to do.”

Clint stepped forward, cupped Phil’s face between his hands and kissed him.

“Oh.”

Phil didn’t have time to say more than that single exhalation. Clint’s lips were on his lips, then mouthing along his jaw. His hands were on Phil’s body, looking for skin beneath his shirt. He pushed Phil back down on the couch.

“Isn’t there a bed somewhere in this place?” Phil came up for air long enough to ask, his hands tugging at Clint’s t-shirt.

“Don’t want to wait for a bed,” Clint said. “Waited too long already.”

He’d managed to work Phil’s shorts down, followed by his underwear, both trapped around Phi’s knees. His mouth engulfed Phil in warm wet heat, and if Phil hadn’t been at full mast before, he was fully erect now.

“Clint, oh god, Clint,” Phil reached out, capturing the top of Clint’s hair and tangling his fingers in soft dark blond locks. 

Clint had his hands clamped on Phil’s thighs, holding him in place as he sucked. Phil refused to close his eyes, even though with every stroke of Clint’s tongue, he felt halfway to heaven already. He wanted to see every moment of this, because otherwise Phil wouldn’t believe, could not believe how he’d gotten so lucky.

And then Clint looked up at him, from under those pale eyelashes, that saucey confident look that showed he damn well knew what he was doing.

That’s when Phil lost it, coming with a shout. He had the presence of mind to let go of Clint’s head - he didn’t want to hurt him, god, anything but that. 

“Clint, get up here.” He melted into the couch cushions. 

Clint obliged, leaning in for a kiss where Phil could taste himself. Phil felt for Clint’s jeans, and met an answering bulge. “If you can wait long enough until we find a bed, I think I’d like you to fuck me with that.”

Clint grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”

***

Phil made his way across the beach, hoping his stride looked more like a swagger and less like he’d just gotten well-fucked a few moments before. He found May sitting at the bar, just as she said she’d be.

She turned at his approach. “Oh God, you’ve got the ‘I just got laid’ flush.”

Phil felt his face heat even more. “We are in Tahiti,” he reminded her. “It’s hot. And sunny.”

“Uh huh.”

The bartender came over and Phil ordered a scotch on the rocks.

“You sure you should be drinking?” she asked. “In your condition?”

He cleared his throat and didn’t even try to take a seat on the stool next to her. Then he realized what she meant. “Oh, I’m not going to die. Well, hopefully not any time soon. Clint helped with that.”

“Dr.Strange?” 

“Dr. Strange,” Phil confirmed. “Is there anything you don’t know?”

Melinda winked at him. “Looks like you’ll have plenty of time to find out, won’t you?”

The bartender returned with the drink and Phil took a long swallow before replying. “Not exactly. When you go back to SHIELD, it will be without me. I’m going to retire with Clint.” To the Barton family farm, which was a carefully kept secret, except from certain Avengers, of course. “It’s best if they keep thinking I’m gone.”

“Going to try that route again?”

“Well it worked once. Sort of.” Because leaving SHIELD meant letting Clint’s friends know he was alive. And if Tony Stark knew, then Banner would, and then Rogers. Phil was honestly quite surprised Natasha hadn’t shown up to chew him out. He figured she was waiting for the moment he least suspected. 

“Phil,” she said quietly, setting down her glass. “You deserve happiness. I’m glad you’re finally getting it with Barton.”

Phil blinked away the sudden prick of tears. “You’re still my best friend, Melinda.”

She slapped him on the back, taking a moment to squeeze his shoulder. “You keep in touch with me. You’re a spy, I’m sure you’ll figure out how.”

He nodded. “And you don’t have to go anywhere anytime soon. We plan on staying in Tahiti for a couple of weeks. Hey.” Phil suddenly realized he’d had his magical cure on the island of his dreams. “It really is a magical place.”

  
Epilogue  


It had taken Phil a while to get used to being called Uncle Phil. And the littlest Barton, the toddler who had been still in utero the last time Phil had encountered Laura Barton and her brood, took to following Phil around as if he couldn’t quite figure Phil out.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me living here?” He’d asked Laura, still uncertain about his role on the farm.

At the time he’d been helping her hang laundry, giant white sheets that flapped in the wind. They had a dryer, of course, but in the summer Laura said she liked the smell of sunshine in her bed. 

She laughed. “Of course not. Now we finally have enough adults for each child. I’d say that’s an even trade, don’t you?”

He laughed with her. Then, she poked him with a clothespin, “You make Clint happy. He loves you, and that means we love you.”

Phil swallowed down the lump in his throat.

That had been months ago, and the weather had turned crisp and cool, Fall coming to an end, and the promise of Thanksgiving ahead. 

Clint had seemed to expect the knock at the front door. They got few visitors, and most Phil had gotten familiar with. He should have known from they looks Clint was giving his phone. But Phil had been far too busy coloring with little Nate and Lila - Cooper, the eldest, was upstairs playing video games.

“Excuse me, we’re here to cut down a Christmas tree.” Tony Stark’s familiar tones echoed through the room.

Phil got to his feet.

“You know we don’t cut down trees until after Thanksgiving,” Clint chided.

Following behind Stark was Pepper Potts, in a precisely tailored burgundy coat. “Phil,” she said, her voice raspy as she entered.

Phil strode across the room in two quick steps to give her a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Of all the people he would have liked to spare pain at thought of his death, Pepper Potts was on the top of his list. She was a civilian, and deserved more than all of this mess.

She smacked him gently as she pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “I’m glad you’re here now. Safe.”

“I’m home,” he said looking directly at Clint, who beamed at him.

“And probably bored out of your mind,” Stark said.

Phil rolled his eyes. “Not everyone is like you, Stark.”

“You’re fine for now, but give it a couple of months, and you’d be itching to get out there again.”

“Is there a point to this?” Phil let his frustration show. A part of him feared Stark was right, that he’d lose his content with the simple life and have the urge to get involved again.

“Actually, Phil, there is.” Pepper grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Tony wants to give you both a control room.”

“I think the workshop would be the perfect place for it.” Stark held out his hands. “You put the right hammer on the right peg, and then wham, the floor becomes an elevator.”

Phil turned to Clint, hoping he’d make some sense out of this. “What is he talking about?”

Clint ducked his head. “Well, I figure, you need some interests outside of me and the kids. And Tony can give you a computer set up nobody can hack. One that picks up all the SHIELD feeds and you can keep track of your old team.”

“And find a way to help them, if I can,” Phil said slowly, “Without compromising our location or letting them know that I’m still alive.”

“Merry Christmas,” Tony said. He went over to where little Nate was still drawing. “Is that a cow?”

“Phil?” Clint said softly.

For a moment, Phil couldn’t speak. He grabbed Clint and held him close. “I love you, you asshole.”

Clint laughed.

end


End file.
